The Jadedvisalian

I love to use Stumble! to find new and interesting websites. One of the topics I follow is Bizarre/Oddities. So, I happened upon a British website called Metro and somebody Stumble!d an article about an man who got his manliness stuck in some pipe. He gave no reason for his predicament. He walked himself into the hospital and presented himself and basically said, “fix it.” Apparently, he took the term laying pipe literally.
Why does the media find strange sex acts worthy of reporting? What happens in a man’s life for him to get to this point? This is a reflection of just haw sick and twisted this world is. This is just the stuff that gets reported.
I just happen to have male genitalia and I am very well versed in it’s functionality. I have picked up a few tricks along the way but never ever have I considered sex with metal pipes or benches or any inanimate object. As most of you know, from your own experiences or the very helpful internet, one-eyed trouser snakes are made for plumbing of the warm and moist varieties (eg. American Pie).
I have over heard more than once from women that they believe men will poke there willy into just about anything. They must have had this guy in mind. A cambodian man choose to use a fence hole to “urinate” through and was bitten by a dog on the other side. All I say is, “whatthehell?” to these stupid men getting their hand tallywackers caught in the cookie jar. Now when I see circular openings in public. I’m now going to wonder. The plumbing section at the hardware store has a whole new twist to it. That’s just weird or should I say Bizzare and Odd? Well, that’s enough johnson talk. I gotta go to Home Depot for some dry wall. Yeah, that’s it, dry wall.

I have a 13 year old daughter who loves music as we all did at that age. She has focused on one particular female singer by the name Taylor Swift. The only Taylor I’ve known was Taylor Durden from Fight Club. Okay, his name was Tyler but it’s close. He was a real ass kicker despite his metaphysical issues. Another equally manly man is Taylor Kent the Fandom Snark. And that about does it for me and my Taylor knowledge. Please forgive me if I skip over any other Taylors living or dead.
So, Taylor Swift is on constant repeat at my home and this young lady’s voice has marched right into my subconscious. I know this because I was driving home on day listening to my radio. Normally, I listen to my Ipod but I ripped the cassette adaptor out of the cassette player. But, that is another story. When all of a sudden, Taylor Swifts song, You belong with me, begins to play. What do I do? I do what my body naturally does after hours of programming. I begin to sing about how a competing girl in short shirts and high heels, something I do not wear because I wear t-shirts and sit in the bleachers, is not the correct choice for the wonder boy of my dreams. It takes awhile but I come to my sense and quickly turn off the radio. I grumble a few memorized lines about football and auto repair and continue my drive home.
I think no one heard or saw, so my man card remains in my back pocket. I think I’ll stick with the oldies station.

Let me tell you a story about love and loving another and then we turn down nephilim street and it gets weird.
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We rented the movie Penelope starring Christina Ricci. A modern fairytale of a cursed girl looking for true love.

 

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For only 99 cents you too can be the owner of a Rudy Giuliani, Hillary Clinton or George McCain bobblehead.



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Let me tell you a story about a boy and his iPod.
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What I thought was weird is that who ever owns this Hummer threw down some serious cash for this SUV. When they got a cover for the spare tire they spared all expense and hired a blind third grader to paint them a picture.



On the bright side. I saw this Lamborghini on Main street.

There I was, home from a long day at work sea and all I wanted was a sweet morsel of my wife’s baking. I opened the lid to our local cookie jar and avast me hartys we’ve been plundered.

There I was on my way home from work. When I saw this car packed. I mean packed with clothes and stuff. They had an out of state license plate, so I figure they are moving to Visalia or parts near by. When I pulled up next to them to get a better picture I saw someone sitting in and amongst the stuff. They were just jammed back there sitting in all that stuff. They should have called shotgun more quickly.

I live in Visalia, if you haven’t guessed by the name of the website, and maybe like your town we have strange people who do strange things. Nothing worthy of a segment on the news at 6 o’clock. Just stuff that will cause me to stop and take out my camera phone and snap a picture.
• First stop: Spelling ain’t a requirement



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• FOLLOW me on Twitter: @JadedDAVe
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