Wat276 – Gasssss

    Temporary Bomb by David J. Avila

    “Sweet pickles in my vagina! Are you going to pick that up? Don’t you shrug at me, Mister.”
    “Can I wait until she is done?”
    “I don’t need this added stress. I must drop this package off before I go to the grocery store and I do not need to see your nasty little dog dropping a load on my grass. My husband works very hard to keep it green and lush and beautiful and I read on the internet that animal droppings can burn the grass. If my grass gets burned, I will expect compensation. Do you hear me?”

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WaT275 – Know it all

    Temporary Bomb by David J. Avila

    Cliff is my neighbor and some kind of federal agent. He regularly gives Chauncey, his wife’s rat terrier, a walk around the block. He hates that bitch, the dog not the wife. She makes unannounced stops along the walk and Cliff nearly yanks her head off each time. For a little rat of a dog, she makes some major sized dumps. It must be the kibble they give her. It must have too much fiber or something. But there she is –assuming the position, squatting and leaving a football sized turd on our lawn. My wife’s going to be mad.

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WaT274 – My Saturday

    Temporary Bomb by David J. Avila

    “Ashton! Did you finish that project yet,” my shrew of a wife questions me.
    “Yes, dear, all ready to go.”
    “Did you clean it too?”
    Her 330 pound, 6 foot 3 inch colossal frame descends the narrow basement stairs. Each wooden stair groans a threat to be the last time it will bare her weight ever again.
    “Yes,” I may have lied.
    “Then give it here, you twit. I need to pick up some eggs, milk and bananas before I drop this off at the office.”
    She always buys eggs, milk and bananas. I think that’s all she ever eats.

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WaT273 – Resume

    Temporary Bomb by David J. Avila

    The bombs I make don’t work, but I keep making them. I think I keep crossing the red wire with green and the green with this yellow one – I think it’s a yellow one – it’s always left over. I roll it up neat and tuck it down into the middle part. I then clean it of all possible evidence before I turn it over. I think it’s unnecessary but the wife thinks otherwise and it’s best not to make her mad. It is better for everyone if she’s not made angry. Her getting angry is what started this whole mess.

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